I heard today that David Beckham (apparently some bigwig in soccer circles who is getting paid like $100 MILLION dollars to play in the US) played in his first game for a whole ten minutes. The final score was 1 to 0. Mr Beckham is making $100 million in the hopes that he can light a fire for soccer in the US (similiar to the way soccer is suported elsewhere).

Which got me to thinking....

First of all, I LIKE to PLAY soccer. It's fun and a damn good aerobic workout.

But watching soccer on TV? Give me the two worst teams in the NFL ANYDAY over any soccer game I've ever seen. 1 to 0. Oh that must have been truly exciting to watch. I'll have to pencil that one in somewhere between watching the paint dry and the grass grow.

But as always Wilthrill is here to help...

To all of you soccer lovers, if you want an exciting game that Americans might watch you need to do what my middle school PE teacher did. He had sixty kids in that class so you had like 30 people per team. HE WOULD THROW OUT SIX SOCCERS BALLS AT ONCE! Now that was pure driving excitement, baby. Six balls going at once!! And hell if you played goalie, you'd better be on your job because you might be defending 3 or 4 shots at the same time.