| Hate Cover Bands? Read on ! LOL!!!!
LOL!
That's about all I can say.
The below article was written by my buddy, Joey Fuckstick, from the band "The F'N A-Holes".
An entertaining band, for sure and opinionated is the front-man of this threesome from Mobile, AL.
Gotta love someone who puts it out there, whether you agreee or not......it's an entertaining read....
enjoy....or not! LOL!!
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And now it's time to talk about that shining peak of the music industry, the Cover Band. That's how you hear THEM tell it, anyway. The guys in these bands have been everywhere, done everything, and are now here to tell you what it's really like "out there". Don't listen to them unless they have a lot of free cocaine. You know what I'm saying.
Do you want to know what a Cover Band is? It's a circle-jerk of failure. It's a bunch of 30-something married fuckups who forgot to pull out a time or three, and now they're angry, bitter little men who will do whatever it takes to talk you out of your dreams. This is all in the name of 'keeping you from making the same mistakes they made.' Except that's a lie. It's really all about 'misery loves company.'
You see them come in during your set, Chad and Mike from Section Ate (Pro Tip: All the big cover bands have really clever names. Except they're not actually clever unless you're a dumb ass.) So here come Chad and Mike from Section Ate. They walk in like they own the place, with their entourage in tow. They have a lot of friends and a few hot girls with them, and it might be tempting to envy them. After all, you heard they make $600 a night.
And they do make $600 a night. They make it by playing all the latest hits, with Brown Eyed Girl and Margaritaville thrown in. Maybe they'll get jiggy and bust a little Mustang Sally later on.
But these dudes show up at your show. You're a hard-working, ORIGINAL band, and they'll sit there and give you this look like, oh look at the poor little songwriter, with his stupid little hopes and dreams. They pull off a lot of attitude, they came up to you after your set and try to school you.
"Good set," Chad says.
"Yeah," Mike agrees. "Too bad there wasn't much of a crowd."
"Oh well," you say, "It is a Wednesday night, after all."
"Oh man," Mike says. "We packed out the (exciting local venue) last Wednesday."
"Yup," Chad agrees. "We made like 600 bucks."
"On WEDNESDAY," Mike reiterates.
The proper retort to this is, "Oh yeah? That's awesome--hey, I think I might be the father of one of your kids."
You have to break these guys off early, because they're so sure that you won't make it (or jealous of your talent) that they will literally say ANYTHING to discourage you. Chad has even Been To Nashville.
Look, here's the deal: those who can, do. Those who can't, play covers. Who the fuck would you rather be? It's kind of like a really old guy with cancer. When the quality of life is down to nothing, sign the Do Not Resuscitate form and go out gracefully. Don't play 'Stroke it to the East' just to have something to do on Saturdays.
I fucking HATE cover bands. Can you tell?
Love and Kisses,
Joey Fuckstick |