| Can you cry under water? Yep but no one else can tell.
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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Depends on the size of their bankroll.
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Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to? taxes
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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? I think they hand out white robes at the gated entrance.
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Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Have you ever tried to make a round box? Its pretty hard.
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What disease did cured ham actually have? anorexia?
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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Men like to do things backwards all the time.
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Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours? I think they are refurring to in the womb? But maybe two hours of sleep is all they need??
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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? we could call it a brailing.
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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Tvs are too small to get inside of. Theater screens on the other hand are HUGE!!
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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? They don't want to see the flaws up close.
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Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway. They don't want to be called out on it so they take the easy way out.
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Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural? we had to equal things out someway. I blame it on men again.
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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Some smokers cant taste it if it isn't burnt.
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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? People are drawn to apathy.
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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? I don't think the body is going to complain.
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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? He wanted to have time to get into ginger and mary annes panties.....duh!!!
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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs! evolution is a B*&%$
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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? I hear it tastes better if you kill it yourself.
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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? You don't really want to know now do ya?
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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Ding ding!!
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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? yes they do
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Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Cause I had to answer the other question.
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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? Have you ever had a hemorrhoid? it feels as big as the universe!!!
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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Maybe he is trying to say something about your breath?
I'm just being a smart ass, lol. But it was fun!! |