Hate Cover Bands? Read on ! LOL!!!!

The Good Reverend, MATCHEW · 11-20-2007, 06:15 PM

LOL!
That's about all I can say.
The below article was written by my buddy, Joey Fuckstick, from the band "The F'N A-Holes".
An entertaining band, for sure and opinionated is the front-man of this threesome from Mobile, AL.
Gotta love someone who puts it out there, whether you agreee or not......it's an entertaining read....
enjoy....or not! LOL!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~
And now it's time to talk about that shining peak of the music industry, the Cover Band. That's how you hear THEM tell it, anyway. The guys in these bands have been everywhere, done everything, and are now here to tell you what it's really like "out there". Don't listen to them unless they have a lot of free cocaine. You know what I'm saying.

Do you want to know what a Cover Band is? It's a circle-jerk of failure. It's a bunch of 30-something married fuckups who forgot to pull out a time or three, and now they're angry, bitter little men who will do whatever it takes to talk you out of your dreams. This is all in the name of 'keeping you from making the same mistakes they made.' Except that's a lie. It's really all about 'misery loves company.'

You see them come in during your set, Chad and Mike from Section Ate (Pro Tip: All the big cover bands have really clever names. Except they're not actually clever unless you're a dumb ass.) So here come Chad and Mike from Section Ate. They walk in like they own the place, with their entourage in tow. They have a lot of friends and a few hot girls with them, and it might be tempting to envy them. After all, you heard they make $600 a night.

And they do make $600 a night. They make it by playing all the latest hits, with Brown Eyed Girl and Margaritaville thrown in. Maybe they'll get jiggy and bust a little Mustang Sally later on.

But these dudes show up at your show. You're a hard-working, ORIGINAL band, and they'll sit there and give you this look like, oh look at the poor little songwriter, with his stupid little hopes and dreams. They pull off a lot of attitude, they came up to you after your set and try to school you.

"Good set," Chad says.

"Yeah," Mike agrees. "Too bad there wasn't much of a crowd."

"Oh well," you say, "It is a Wednesday night, after all."

"Oh man," Mike says. "We packed out the (exciting local venue) last Wednesday."

"Yup," Chad agrees. "We made like 600 bucks."

"On WEDNESDAY," Mike reiterates.

The proper retort to this is, "Oh yeah? That's awesome--hey, I think I might be the father of one of your kids."

You have to break these guys off early, because they're so sure that you won't make it (or jealous of your talent) that they will literally say ANYTHING to discourage you. Chad has even Been To Nashville.

Look, here's the deal: those who can, do. Those who can't, play covers. Who the fuck would you rather be? It's kind of like a really old guy with cancer. When the quality of life is down to nothing, sign the Do Not Resuscitate form and go out gracefully. Don't play 'Stroke it to the East' just to have something to do on Saturdays.

I fucking HATE cover bands. Can you tell?

Love and Kisses,

Joey Fuckstick

buzzincuzzin · 11-20-2007, 08:34 PM

I'm a F'N'A-Holes fan, writer, and performer of covers when they pay me. I just got back from 10 days at the FRANK BROWN SONGWRITERS FESTIVAL at a buck-and-a-quarter-a-day plus expenses. For the same money I'll be playing bass for the next two weeks(7 dates) on Brown eyed girl, Willin, Born to be wild, Moondance, etc,etc,etc, and ANYTHING ELSE the band wants to play for the proper setting. I make my money from music. It is not my hobby, it's not my passion, it's not my social life, it's my PROFESSION. I try to treat it as such. If you read the footnotes you'll find a lot of hits are not written by the singer/band. Bob Dylan, Willie Nelson, hell, CHUCK BERRY all cover other peoples songs. I'm looking forward to doing another(done 2) F'N'A-Holes show partly because even though they didn't write "WHITE LIGHTING" they PLAY-THE-FLYING-FUCK-OUT-OF-IT.

The Wayniac · 11-21-2007, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Good Reverend, MATCHEW

my buddy, Joey Fuckstick, from the band "The F'N A-Holes".
An entertaining band, for sure and opinionated is the front-man of this threesome from Mobile, AL.
Gotta love someone who puts it out there, whether you agreee or not......it's an entertaining read....
enjoy....or not! LOL!!

Gotta love Joe. Great sense of humor, I was in another band with him several years ago, so I can appriciate where he is coming from with this.

We did originals and covers, so he aint' exactly innocent either

ssspert · 11-21-2007, 11:28 PM

I like Joe.
He is creative, and they are a fun rock-a-billy type band.
I recorded them in the studio, fun times. I may have over dubbed a few basslines that I could get away with...sorry jason.
I think his alter ego speaking, cuz that fool does cover tunes.

savereno · 11-23-2007, 09:34 AM

I believe he is referring to bands that play nothing but covers, namely whatever top 40 or top 10 on tk101 happens to be at the time just to be "cool for the chicks".

I have only seen F'N Aholes once, I do not know how many covers they play (if any) so I could be wrong.

I just know that the aforementioned bands are the most hated ones. You normally can find them hanging out in Guitar Center, playing the only ACDC riff they know rather loudly and obnoxiously, grinning through their two teeth thinking they are the shit "because I can play the geeeetarr!!!" (which is why I hate Guitar Center).

These type of bands, fat chicks, and frat boys are the reason I will not step a foot near Grand Central... oh yeah, and the douche-bags in the black security shirts... what a bunch of tools.

ssspert · 11-26-2007, 01:24 PM

I used to love to play at GC but...I out grew it.
Its still the place to play in mobile.

"its cool for the chicks..."
Why would a dude want to appeal to anything else?

savereno · 11-27-2007, 03:47 PM

Yeah, but there is also integrity. If you are good the chicks will come, no matter what you play. Some asshats think chicks will fall at their feet because they can play some Metallica or Nickelback... but that is simply not true.

I guess I never had problems getting chicks, I simply did not care who walked into the club, as long as they paid their $5 to get in. They could be throwing beer at us for all I care (just watch the gear!).

ssspert · 11-28-2007, 05:24 AM

I hear ya.
You lost some integrity when you decided to play covers.
Gain a little back when you played them well, and kicked ass doing it.
We always appealed to women, the men always follow closely behind.
I never played to get chicks, I could care less about some lounge whore.

11-20-2007, 06:15 PM	#1 (permalink)
The Good Reverend, MATCHEW Agent Jones, at your service. GCB Senior Citizen Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Ocean Springs, MS Posts: 2,356 Rep Power: 32	Hate Cover Bands? Read on ! LOL!!!! LOL! That's about all I can say. The below article was written by my buddy, Joey Fuckstick, from the band "The F'N A-Holes". An entertaining band, for sure and opinionated is the front-man of this threesome from Mobile, AL. Gotta love someone who puts it out there, whether you agreee or not......it's an entertaining read.... enjoy....or not! LOL!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ And now it's time to talk about that shining peak of the music industry, the Cover Band. That's how you hear THEM tell it, anyway. The guys in these bands have been everywhere, done everything, and are now here to tell you what it's really like "out there". Don't listen to them unless they have a lot of free cocaine. You know what I'm saying. Do you want to know what a Cover Band is? It's a circle-jerk of failure. It's a bunch of 30-something married fuckups who forgot to pull out a time or three, and now they're angry, bitter little men who will do whatever it takes to talk you out of your dreams. This is all in the name of 'keeping you from making the same mistakes they made.' Except that's a lie. It's really all about 'misery loves company.' You see them come in during your set, Chad and Mike from Section Ate (Pro Tip: All the big cover bands have really clever names. Except they're not actually clever unless you're a dumb ass.) So here come Chad and Mike from Section Ate. They walk in like they own the place, with their entourage in tow. They have a lot of friends and a few hot girls with them, and it might be tempting to envy them. After all, you heard they make $600 a night. And they do make $600 a night. They make it by playing all the latest hits, with Brown Eyed Girl and Margaritaville thrown in. Maybe they'll get jiggy and bust a little Mustang Sally later on. But these dudes show up at your show. You're a hard-working, ORIGINAL band, and they'll sit there and give you this look like, oh look at the poor little songwriter, with his stupid little hopes and dreams. They pull off a lot of attitude, they came up to you after your set and try to school you. "Good set," Chad says. "Yeah," Mike agrees. "Too bad there wasn't much of a crowd." "Oh well," you say, "It is a Wednesday night, after all." "Oh man," Mike says. "We packed out the (exciting local venue) last Wednesday." "Yup," Chad agrees. "We made like 600 bucks." "On WEDNESDAY," Mike reiterates. The proper retort to this is, "Oh yeah? That's awesome--hey, I think I might be the father of one of your kids." You have to break these guys off early, because they're so sure that you won't make it (or jealous of your talent) that they will literally say ANYTHING to discourage you. Chad has even Been To Nashville. Look, here's the deal: those who can, do. Those who can't, play covers. Who the fuck would you rather be? It's kind of like a really old guy with cancer. When the quality of life is down to nothing, sign the Do Not Resuscitate form and go out gracefully. Don't play 'Stroke it to the East' just to have something to do on Saturdays. I fucking HATE cover bands. Can you tell? Love and Kisses, Joey Fuckstick __________________ www.Ko-Lija.com www.MySpace.com/KoLija www.MySpace.com/OSMUSICFEST

11-21-2007, 11:28 PM	#4 (permalink)
ssspert Band Member Productive GCB Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: wemo Posts: 1,777 Rep Power: 11	I like Joe. He is creative, and they are a fun rock-a-billy type band. I recorded them in the studio, fun times. I may have over dubbed a few basslines that I could get away with...sorry jason. I think his alter ego speaking, cuz that fool does cover tunes. __________________ Straight Shots Myspace page My Myspace Bass page email ME for Straight Shot booking information. “Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.” James Dean Last edited by ssspert; 11-21-2007 at 11:30 PM.

11-26-2007, 01:24 PM	#6 (permalink)
ssspert Band Member Productive GCB Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: wemo Posts: 1,777 Rep Power: 11	I used to love to play at GC but...I out grew it. Its still the place to play in mobile. "its cool for the chicks..." Why would a dude want to appeal to anything else? __________________ Straight Shots Myspace page My Myspace Bass page email ME for Straight Shot booking information. “Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.” James Dean

11-28-2007, 05:24 AM	#8 (permalink)
ssspert Band Member Productive GCB Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: wemo Posts: 1,777 Rep Power: 11	I hear ya. You lost some integrity when you decided to play covers. Gain a little back when you played them well, and kicked ass doing it. We always appealed to women, the men always follow closely behind. I never played to get chicks, I could care less about some lounge whore. __________________ Straight Shots Myspace page My Myspace Bass page email ME for Straight Shot booking information. “Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.” James Dean

11-20-2007, 08:34 PM	#2 (permalink)
buzzincuzzin Band Member Band Whore Join Date: Apr 2006 Age: 99 Posts: 269 Rep Power: 27	I'm a F'N'A-Holes fan, writer, and performer of covers when they pay me. I just got back from 10 days at the FRANK BROWN SONGWRITERS FESTIVAL at a buck-and-a-quarter-a-day plus expenses. For the same money I'll be playing bass for the next two weeks(7 dates) on Brown eyed girl, Willin, Born to be wild, Moondance, etc,etc,etc, and ANYTHING ELSE the band wants to play for the proper setting. I make my money from music. It is not my hobby, it's not my passion, it's not my social life, it's my PROFESSION. I try to treat it as such. If you read the footnotes you'll find a lot of hits are not written by the singer/band. Bob Dylan, Willie Nelson, hell, CHUCK BERRY all cover other peoples songs. I'm looking forward to doing another(done 2) F'N'A-Holes show partly because even though they didn't write "WHITE LIGHTING" they PLAY-THE-FLYING-FUCK-OUT-OF-IT.

11-23-2007, 09:34 AM	#5 (permalink)
savereno Band Whore Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 258 Rep Power: 14	I believe he is referring to bands that play nothing but covers, namely whatever top 40 or top 10 on tk101 happens to be at the time just to be "cool for the chicks". I have only seen F'N Aholes once, I do not know how many covers they play (if any) so I could be wrong. I just know that the aforementioned bands are the most hated ones. You normally can find them hanging out in Guitar Center, playing the only ACDC riff they know rather loudly and obnoxiously, grinning through their two teeth thinking they are the shit "because I can play the geeeetarr!!!" (which is why I hate Guitar Center). These type of bands, fat chicks, and frat boys are the reason I will not step a foot near Grand Central... oh yeah, and the douche-bags in the black security shirts... what a bunch of tools.

11-27-2007, 03:47 PM	#7 (permalink)
savereno Band Whore Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 258 Rep Power: 14	Yeah, but there is also integrity. If you are good the chicks will come, no matter what you play. Some asshats think chicks will fall at their feet because they can play some Metallica or Nickelback... but that is simply not true. I guess I never had problems getting chicks, I simply did not care who walked into the club, as long as they paid their $5 to get in. They could be throwing beer at us for all I care (just watch the gear!).