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Old 04-30-2007, 05:57 PM
ambergirl's Avatar
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Escatawpa, MS
Age: 39
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ambergirl sperm just hit the egg
The book about my childhood I'm writting.....let me know what you think.

The Introduction to the fools

I guess I should Introduce myself and all my friends huh? My name is Lee. I grew up in Moss Point Mississippi. Lived here my whole live. I had two sisters. Donna was my older sister she died when I was 7 years old. She was 20 at the time. My other sister is 4 years younger than me. Her name is Lana. So yes I was a Middle child. My mom and dad met in high school and married as soon as my mom graduated. A year later they had my sister Donna. Then 15 years later POP I was born. I think by 12 I was fully grown. Not mentally, physically. I stopped growing and haven't ever started again. I'm 5'0" if I'm wearing shoes. I have a mixture of my mom and dad's eyes. My big sister had blue eyes like my dad and my little sister has green eyes like my mom. I have blue green eyes that have some brown in them. My big sister had jet black hair. My little sister has light brown hair. I have dark brown hair. We are all fair skinned. And I'd like to add I don't have an accent. LOL.
Next is my friend Millie. She is two years younger than me. But we grew up together for the most part. She is the youngest of three kids. She is the only girl though. She has two big brothers. One of them I married later. She was born and raised in Moss Point just like me. She has red hair and freckles. She is 5'5" fair skinned with light blue eyes. She lived next to an overpass in Moss Point her whole life. Well until she got married and moved to her own house.
Then there is Skitt. She has lived in Passpoint, which is short for in the middle of Moss Point and Pascagoula, her whole life. She is three years younger than me. But she has always been taller than me. She is 5'7" and has Dark brown eyes. She has an older brother named Sheen. She has dark brown hair that has some blondish highlights if she gets in the sun. She is not as fair skinned as Millie, Lana and me. And she tells me she got her butt from the black side of her family. The song I like big butts comes to mind.
Elle lives in Vancleave. Which is hick town here. Yes the south has rednecks and then we have hicks. There is a difference. She has a big sister named Kit who is a little mentally challenged. And she has a step brother name Bert. She lives with her dad and her step mom. Her step mom is psyco! She is 5'8" has brown eyes and short brown hair. She is always tan. She is 2 years yonger than me. She loves animals and has a cat name Chevron because she found him at the chevron gas station. Our favorite pass time when we are together is to listen to music and just chill. We wanted to start a band but it fell thru.
Taylor is Millie's cousin. But you couldn't tell by looking at them they are total opposits. Taylor is 5'6" Has deep blue eyes and dark brown almost black hair and it is very curly. She is 4 years younger than me. She is the oldest of three. She has a younger brother named Eric. And a younger sister name Lynn. And lots and lots of cousins. She has lived in Moss Point her whole life too. We took turns spending the night at each others houses for a while. She was very strong when we were little she ran a football across the front lawn with me and a boy from down the street hanging on her.
Callie lives in Ocean Springs which is about 25 minutes away from Moss Point. It's next to Vancleave. She is the baby in her family. She has an older sister named Jewel. And an older brother named Petey. She has blonde short hair and blue eyes. She is 5'4" and is very pale. She is about 6 years younger than me. Yeah I know I was the oldest. They had horses and were out in the boonies which was nice. We have a history of walking around the neiborhood late at night. Ah those were the days.
Which brings me to Petey. He is 4 years younger than me. He is 5'10" Blonde hair and tan. He was a very goofy boy. I guess that is what hanging out with girls will do to a boy. He is Callie's brother so all of the above stuff goes for him too. He is a sissy when it comes to scary stories. Believe me I made him cry once with a story. He wanted to sleep with us so he wouldn't be alone.
Orello is the youngest. She is my sisters best friend. They went everywhere together. So if I was going somewhere they tagged along. Which I think of her as a second little sister. We brought her home from the hospital cause her mom had to stay for longer than her. And we helped out while she was little. She is younger than my sister. So I would say she is 7 or 8 years younger than me. She has lived in Moss Point her whole life and has a huge family. 6 older brothers and 2 older sisters. She is the baby. She has dark skin and black hair and eyes. She has a birth mark on her cheek. She is about 5'6" and has a ton of cats.
Rin and Wayne are the twins. They live in Vancleave like Elle. They are both 6 years younger than me. They both have green eyes and blonde hair. And they are both very tan. They live in the middle of 150 akers of land that is owned by their grandpa. And all their cousins live on the land too. They are the babies of a huge family. They have three older sisters. And tons of cousins. Then their mother got remarried 10 years after her husband died. And he came with a boy named Ry. So now he is the baby in the family. They live in the country so they have horses and dogs, cows and chickens. They love to swim. Rin is the girl she is 5'2" and Wayne is the boy who is 6'0". And he likes to make fun of the fact that we are shorter than him.
Tom was my first boyfriend. My mother and his grandmother are good friends and that is how we met. He is a year younger than me. But way taller than me so that made up for it back then. He has blue eyes, light brown hair and is 5'11". He loves to play basketball. And he loved to beat me and Elle at it. And he was always tan. His dad owned a shrimping boat and he would go out on it alot.
Rick was my second boyfriend. He was a cherokee indian. So he had the dark skin and the black hair and dark eyes. He is 5'11" and loved to swim. We met at the swim club that I was a part off and later worked for as a life guard. He is a year younger than me. Yeah what is it with me and younger men. I was a kid so that is my excuse. He has an older sister that I never met but heard about sometimes.
Well I guess that is the whole crew if I missed anyone I'll introduce them later on in the story. Now on the the memories, I warn you these are not in order of how they happened. I have to write them when I remember them. I hope you enjoy.

How did we survive childhood?

That would be the question. Ok I was maybe 16 and Millie and Skitt were both 14. We were all spending the night at Millie's house and none of us could sleep that night. So we desided to sneek out of the house once Millie's parents were asleep. If you knew the area her house was in you would think we were pretty stupid. And I'm about to prove you right on that thought. Millie had bought some fake hair color spray, grey of all colors. We thought that if we sprayed our hair grey that if the cops stopped us on the side of the road for being out after curfew that we could pretend to be old ladies. Yeah I know stupid. Well we really believed this and hid under the bridge and sprayed each others hair. It didnt show up good on mine and Millie's hair but it showed up good on Skitt's. So our plan changed she would be our grandmother and me and Millie would be sisters. So off we go walking thru Moss Point at 1am in worst part of town. We got bored so we desided to go to someones house. Milie's cousin Court lived around the corner from where we had walked to. So we climbed in thru her window in the middle of the night and scared the crap out of her. Besides the fact that Millie landed on top of her. Skitt and me just fell on the floor next to the bed. We always had better aim. Looking back on it we could have been killed or worse. Someone could have woken up and discovered us missing and called the cops to look for us. When we got back to her house we curled upon the bed, turned smashing pumkins on the radio and fell asleep.

The night the shark died

We did have our moments of just off the wall silliness. One night I had several of my friends over and boy did it get wild. The list of the guilty is as follows, Millie, Skitt, Taylor, my sister Lana and Orello her best friend. We had my newest guy friend on the speaker phone, Petey. It was a night game of on the phone truth or dare. First up was Millie, she was always up to do something stupid. I dont know if it was because she didn't think before she stepped, or that she just really needed the attention. Petey was in charge of the truth and dare part. So as the game is played he asked, "Truth or dare?" She says, "Dare!" So Petey dared her to stick my pet hampster in her mouth. So she thought she would be smart and not put the hampster in head first. So that it wouldn't bite her tounge. So she stuck it in butt first and if you add warmth to hapster butt you will end up with pee in the mouth. We were all laughing so hard that we couldn't help her at all. So after a mouth rinse and a drink it was her turn to be over the truth or dare. And she asked me truth or dare? I being a little bit smarter that her picked truth. She asked me who my crush was. And at the time it was a guy that went to the swimming club I was part of. His name was Rick. So I said Rick. That was very uneventful. So after that we took the truth part out of the game. It was dares all around. Now it was my turn. I picked Taylor. Her dare was to eat hapster food. She refused so Petey says, "Let her consequence be that she is hit with a laidle." So I went to the kitchen and got a laidle and came back into my room and SMACK! There she still remembers that. So now it was her turn. She dared Skitt to eat dog food. After seeing the consequence of the laidle she gladly ate the dog food. It was so gross. She choked on it and I almost had to give her the hiemlick manuver. Why was I the only one trained in CPR? I was the one who would laugh so hard you might die before I got to you. So after that it was her turn. She dared Orello to get naked and run around to house screaming, "I'm a tomato!" When she got back in the house she was so out of breath all we could understand was, "Thats.....You....Never..........Ugh!" Then after she caught her breath she dared Lana to drink hot sause. So she did and then she threw up in the toilet. So it was Lana's turn. She dared Petey to sing for us. So he put in his new Adam Sandler cd and sang for us. Afterwards we were like that wasn't a good dare. He sang it just like the Sandler! So now it was Peteys turn. He dared me to hit Taylor with the laidle again. HAHA, Which I did and she remembers that to this day too. So it was Taylors turn and she dared Millie to drink out of the toilet. Yes the toilet Lana just threw up in. So she goes in there and desides to flush and spray the toilet seat with lysol. So first she drank the water then she licked the seat to disinfect her tounge. And then she had to drink some more toilet water to get the lysol taste off her tounge. Boy what color crayon do you think she would be? We had sent Lana with her to make sure she did want she was dared to do. Lana came back nauseated. So we desided that was enough gross stuff for the night and turned to Petey for entertainment. We gave each other nicknames. I was Smiley, Skitt was Dude, Millie was Buddie, Taylor was Homie, and Petey was The Man. The others didnt play along. And then there was my sisters toy shark. Who was lovingly named Petey. Yes it confused us too. Well Millie desided to stick Petey up her shirt and Millie is very well endowed. He was a shark stick puppet. She was making him dance and sing out of the top of her shirt. When we heard my mom coming down the hall she tried to pull Petey out really quick. Well it wasn't mom is was Lana and the shark, well he was decapitated in the proccess. At least he died happy. And from that day on Petey was never the same and my sister was mad at Millie for years for killing her shark.

Skittles and you

It's like the night time turns us into raving lunitics. Well maybe that is a little too harsh. We act like monkeys. That's better terms. One night, I feel like I say that alot, we couldn't sleep. So Lana, Skitt and me desided to get out of the house and go for a drive. The drive ended in the Piggly Wiggly parking lot at 2 am. We had stopped at a gas station and stocked up on candy and sugary drinks. Ohhh and caffine. Skitt had to get skittles. Do you know those things hurt when you get hit in the head with one in the middle of a really good movie? Well I had my camera that took video also. and Skitt's camera did too. So Lana used my camera and I used Skitt's. We were on a mission to create a skittles comercial at 2 am in the middle of an abandoned parking lot. The video is on youtube if you ever get really bored. ( )Oh yeah the story, here is how the commercial goes. Skitt is on camera......action! "Hi! Do you wanna try laxitives? Here try skittles brand laxitives? They're so fruity! I took some and now OOOO I gotta go!" (She runs off camera. End of cut one.) Then we just started goofing off. Part two of Skittles comercial. Skitt:"You know they are kinda chalky."Me: " Get in the light chick!" Skitt: " They are kinda Chalky!!!! " Me:"You need some under lighting." Skitt:" They are kinda chalky. But other than that their pretty cool. They're kinda like chewy too." After a few more minutes of goofyness we jammed to some Nirvana. We only had four Nirvana cds in the cd changer. LOL. After some debate about whether or not there were lots of cars passing by seeing our silliness we were running low on the sugar high we had before. So off to the house we go to sleep off our sugar rush headaches. The song Sugar High comes to mind...........

Cherry head

Boredom gets my friends and me into trouble all the time. Elle and me were bored one Friday afternoon and we got into a lovely mess in a white bathroom. Who has a white bathroom?! Anyways, we wanted to dye our hair but we didn't have enough money to buy real hair dye. But we did have enough money to buy some black cherry koolaid. You know those little kids you see running around with the cute little koolaid mustache. It's not so cute when it is around a teenagers forehead. We had heard that if you mix koolaid with water and stick your hair in it would dye it. So we stuck 10 packets of koolaid in a bucket and filled it with water. We took turns sticking our heads in the bucket. After about 15 minutes Elle's sister came in and started laughing. We ask, " What's so funny?" She asked, "Have you seen yourselves?" So we looked in the mirror and they were right. It dyed our hair and our foreheads and everything it dripped on. So we started frantically trying to scrub it off our foreheads but we were just making it redder. So then it popped in her head. Stain stick gets stains out. TaDa! We ran and got the stain stick and started rubbing each others heads with it. And the stain around our heads disappeared. So then we had a whole white bathroom to get red koolaid stains out of. We never did that again. It took forever to get it all clean and we had to throw the clothes we had on away. Stain stick didn't work on them. Hmmm they should put that on the label. Gets koolaid out of skin.

Teenage Nirvana

I love the country. My friend Callie lived in the country out in a place called Ocean Springs. Dirt roads and hardly anyone out there. Her brother is Petey. Me and some other friends were spending the weekend with her. It was a great weekend. We could walk 10 minutes in either direction and have all we needed for the hot summer. In one direction there was a pizza place and gas station that had everything. In the other direction was the boat docks where we could sun or swim and listen to Nirvana on the cd player. It was even better at night. Well you couldn't go get some pizza at night but the water was nice and nobody was at the dock. So this night we had climbed out of Callie's bedroom window. It was Elle, Petey, Elle's sister Kit, and me and my sister Lana. We turned on the radio as soon as we were far enough away from the house to not wake the parents. We jammed all the way to the docks. Elle and me tried laying out on the docks railing so that there was nothing but us and the night winds. But of course Petey couldn't let us have our peace. First he pushed me in the water then he pushed Elle in. So we attacked him. Tried our best to dunk him under the water. He was not going to let us. He would peel us, one at a time, off his back and throw us in the water. The whole time the others were laughing their butts off at us. Finally we got him and ran for our lives out of the water before he could get us again. We air dried on the dock listening to our favorite band Nirvana the whole time. We would have stayed out there all night but a thunder storm was coming we could see the lightning in the black sky. so we started back for the house. On the way I started telling them about how I thought it was weird that two of my family members had been struck by lightning. Like it ran in our family. That we attracted lightning. Well this sent Kit on a rampage. She didn't want to be anywhere near me or my sister. She ran off and said she was going to walk ahead of us to the house. She got off track or turned down the wrong road. But we were all laughing and talking and didn't notice her do it. So we get to the house and Kit isn't there yet. So we go outside and look down the road for her. About 10 minutes later we started to get worried about her. So Callie woke her parents and told them what had happened. They didn't mind us going swimming at night as long as we didn't wake them up. But they were not happy about having to get up that early in the morning to go look for a lost girl. Callie and her mom got in their car and went driving around looking for her. Petey and me looked down the road again. The rest waited at the house incase she showed up. When we got back Kit was sitting on the couch looking retarded. I asked her what happened. She said she got lost so she hitch hiked with someone and drove around til she recognised the house. She isn't very bright either. So we were told to stay in the rest of the morning until everyone was up. So we went to the bedroom and told scarry stories for the rest of the night. Well until we all fell asleep at 8am.

Rats in the attic

Me and my friends had a club in my attic called the Up Stairs Club. We called it the UPS club. We had an inflatiable island float as a couch and we recycled newspapers and saved the change we got from that to do stuff. We actually saved enough once to all go out to see a movie. We did crafts up there too. We cut up paper and made snowflakes and stapled them to the board up there. They are still there to this day. One day I had a bunch of the club members over and we were up there talking and cutting out stuff from paper. Taylor fell asleep on the island during all of this. My boyfriend at the time, Tom, was over and was irritating us. So we all went down stairs to the swingset and teeter totter to play and get out of the hot attic. We were having so much fun listening to the radio and running around when all of a sudden we hear a loud bang come from the garage. Our club was right above the garage. So we all went running to see what had happened. My sister Lana had taken her collection of pound puppies up there and had been laying them carefully all over Taylor. Taylor has been known to over react. So when she woke up form her nap she saw the pound puppies all over her and thought they were rats. Really big rats. So she jumped up off the island and just started running. Well the ladder was down so when she got to it she just fell threw the hole. She landed on my dad's ridding lawn mower. It had knocked the wind out of her so it took us a few minutes to get her to tell us what happened. She said, "There were huge rats all over me when I woke up." So Tom being the guy went up stairs to check things out. When he got up there he just started laughing. He looked down from the ladder and said, "Those were just pound puppies." She said, "No they weren't they had red beetie eyes and they looked like they were about to bite me." So he grabbed on and threw it at her and said, "Like this." She screamed and jumped around then she looked at it and realised it was a toy. She just sat down and said, " Y'all did that on purpose didn't you?!" "No!" we all said. Then my sister came around the corner laughing and she said you should have seen your face. I thought Taylor was going to skin her alive. And my sister wonders why my friends didn't like her all the time.

32 flavors and toast to boot

When I was younger my dad would go out of town for the weekend. He would go up to Columbia Mississippi which is where he and my mom grew up. And while he was there he would go hunting in the woods close to where he grew up. Well while he was gone we would play. I had been bugging my mom for a while now to have a sleep over. Finally she gave in and said that we could do it while my dad was out of town. So I immediatly got on the phone and started calling my friends. I didn't want to leave anyone out of the fun. And by the time I was thru calling all of my friends I started getting call backs. It seemed like everyone that I had called got the ok from their parents. So the Friday of the party rolls around. Dad leaves and at about lunch time some of my friends started showing up. Millie and her cousins were there. Orello was there and Rin with her three older sisters. And tons more including my best friend at the time. She is one of the ones I forgot to introduce at the begining. Her name is Rylee. She grew up in Vancleave and was taking homeschool at the same time as me. So when her mom would plan a field trip we would end up going together. She had three horses and we would go horseback ridding everytime I would spend the night. But this time she was at my house and the best thing we had was the huge 20 foot tall swingset that we made a very dangerous toy out of. Well all together there were 32 girls at my sleep over that night. We were all playing in the front yard with the swingset and the teeter totter and listening to music. We had a car stop and ask my mom if she was running a day care. She laughed and said no just a party. And the woman driving the car told her she was a very brave lady to have that many kids at her house. We were having so much fun. We had a makeup station inside where we would all get our makeup done by the pros of our time. That would be Laken, and Rin's big sister Reba. Once everyones makeup was done we had a beauty and tallent contest in the living room. Which some of the girls took a little too seriously. But for the most part you would be surprised how 32 girls could get along so well. We stayed up very late. My mom and the younger of the girl went to my little sister's room and fell asleep. While the rest of us sang and told scary stories and listened to music. We talked about the boys that we liked. While all of this was going on we had no idea that one of the girls in the other room was having an asthma attack. We have sensor lights on the front of my moms house. They come on when something moves on the porch. My cat Catty had jumped up on my mom's car and set the light off. The girl in the living room saw the light come on and it scared her so she started hyperventilating. Her sister ran in the room and asked me if we had a paper bag somewhere. When I found one they made her breath in it and kept talking to her and telling her to calm down that everything was alright. She finally calmed down and we got her a glass of water and she was fine the rest of the night. Then the next disaster struck. Another girl started to get sick. At first we thought she was faking it to get attention. But then she passed out in the livingroom floor. When that happened someone said, "Hey doesn't she have allergies? This looks like she is having an allergic reaction to something." So we called her house and talked to her dad and he said he was on his way to pick her up. This was at 3am. My mom slept thru all of this. Once everyone had settled down from all the excitement it was almost 6 in the morning. Millie and me laid on the bed and everytime we would look at each other we would start laughing. Why? Because we were delirious from having no sleep. At 8 in the morning my mom came thru the house waking everyone up and telling them to get up it's morning time, time to go outside and play. Then she informed me that I was in charge of feeding everyone breakfast. So me and the oldest of my friends went around asking everyone if they liked toast. That was the only thing I knew how to make at the time. We were going to make cinnimon and regular toast. And everyone was going to drink milk or orange juice. Everyone was satisfied with that. So off we went to fix enough for 31 girls to eat. By the time we were done with that we were so tired we all just wanted to go back to sleep. But my mom said we had to stay up the whole morning. So we sat down and watched Saved By The Bell. Then parents started showing up to pick their kids up. Everyone told me they had alot of fun. I was glad cause I wasn't a very good hostess. But it worked out. That afternoon the girl who had the allergic reaction called to tell me that she was allergic to her new sleeping bag she had gotten for the party. So we had made the right call by waking her dad up so early. The whole day, after everyone was gone, I spent cleaning up the house. When my dad got home he never knew what had gone on that weekend. I don't think to this day we have told him about the night 32 girls invaded the house.

Lysol can be dangerous

I love sleep overs as you can tell. They usually don't envolve much sleep though. This sleep over happened at Millie's house. We were going to set up tents in her back yard and sleep outside all night. It sounded like so much fun. I had never slept outside before. When I got there she was looking for her dad's tents. And I was one of the first people to arrive. It was going to be me, Millie, Taylor, Laken, Laken's little sister Margret, and Millie's other cousin Blair. Blair is a very girlie girl. She doesn't like to get dirty or sweaty. So I didn't know how this was going to work out. And Margret was Blairs best friend so they acted alot alike. Margret had brought a pink satin sleeping bag and pillow. Blair had a cute little box with all her nessecities in it. And we were roughing it I tell you. We set up the two tents in the back yard. And had run long extention cords to the tents so that we could hook stuff up. We had a little tv out there and a lamp. And the tv had a vcr in it so we had movies out there to watch. We ordered a pizza all by ourselves and stood out by the road to wait for it. Paid for it, and brought it back to the tent to eat. We had a big 2 liter of coke in the tent and little foam cups to drink out of. So we sat in the tent with the lamp on eating and drinking and watching Bill and Teds Awesome Adventure. When all of a sudden Taylor accidentally knocked the 2 liter of coke over and it spilled on Margret's pink satin sleeping bag. It also started to head for the electrical cords in the tent which sent most of the girls flying out of the tent. So Millie ran inside and grabbed a whole roll of paper towels and ran back to the tent with them. We were trying to block the stream of coke from the cord and save the rest of the blankets. We got most of the coke up but Margret's blanket couldn't be saved. So it was taken inside and Millie's mom was going to wash it and dry it for her. So we all settled down and desided to just watch tv and relaxe for a while. But the tent was smelling bad from getting coke all in it. So Millie and Blair went inside to get some lysol to make it smell better. Well while they were inside Blair asked Millie was scent the lysol was. Millie said I don't know and tried to smell it. She accidently pushed the spray button at the same time she inhailed and just dropped the can. "It burns! Ah, Oh why did I do that?!", she said. Blair just laughed and couldn't help. Finally she asked, "Are you ok?" Millie said she was ok but I bet that burned for a while. And I bet everything smelled like lysol for a long time too. So finally they brought the lysol out to the tent and we asked what took them so long. So they told us and all we could do was laugh. But we all learned a good lesson spray then sniff. So now comes the part where it was really time to go to sleep. But we were all in a giggly mood by then. So we told scary stories and freak ourselves out. By the time we were done with that we couldn't sleep because every sound scared us. Then we saw a shaddow outside our tent. Everyone got really quiet. "What was that?" Taylor asked. "I think it was Mr. Fellows from next door." Said Millie. "You mean the guy that tried to shoot your brothers that time the ball went into his yard?" I asked. "Yep." She answered. So now I'm thinking, Oh great a psyco killer is outside the tent and he is going to kill us all. Then something ran into the tent. We all screamed. Then we heard a bark from outside the tent. Uh, it was just Bear. "Stupid dog!" Millie yelled. Well after that nobody wanted to stay outside anymore. We were too scared. So we all went inside. Inside our antics continued. We found Millie's big brothers acne medicine and put it all over Laken when she fell asleep. Then we put toothpaste all over Blair when she fell asleep. See it was dangerous to be the first people to fall asleep around us. They were so mad at us the next morning. We finally all passed out and slept til late the next day.

Is it sprite or spritt?

On hot days the beach is the perfect place to go. Living on the coast here made the beach an easy place to get to and find a good spot to sit too. Today it was me, Millie and Skitt. We were armed with sprite and a camera. We made a pallet in the sand and sat down with our drinks. We whistled at the guys going by in cars that we thought were cute. Danced around under the pier. When Millie started taling about the silly commercials she used to make and record on her tape player when she was little. One was about her big brother that was at the time working at the fishery up the street from their house. She said it went like this. "Does your brother stink when he comes home from work? I mean really stink! Mine does so I use this. (Holds up fake bottle) It's called stink away. It gets rid of any stink even it it is your brother." End of commercial. We all started laughing. So after a good laugh Skitt askes for another bottle of spritt. We looked at her waiting for her to correct herself. She said,"What?" We both laughed and said nothing. She said, "Well that is what I call it. It's spritt." I said "That sounds too much like your saying spit." She said "Ew!" So then she said we should make a commercial about it. So Millie started singing a jingle about spritt. It wasn't long before they were both posing for me to take their pictures with their spritt bottles. To this day Skitt still calls it spritt. It confusses everyone. And she has to correct herself at resturants.

Trees and horses don't mix

In the country there are lots of trees and lots of horses. But have you ever noticed that they don't go together very well? I'm here to tell you from experience they don't. My friend Rylee, as I had mentioned earlier, had three horses. So I was spending the night at her house and we went horse back ridding. This was a day to just stay away from horses and trees and the country all together. A boy named Antone was over at her house that day. And I had a huge crush on him. I had had a huge crush on him for a long time. So I was trying to show off how well I could ride. Which he was so busy talking with Rylee's parents that he wasn't paying me any attention at all. So I gave up and went over to where my friend Rylee was ridding. Her big sister yelled at us from the house to move. We were like why. She said "Move now!" So we both backed up from where we were. As soon as we did that we saw what she saw. There was a snake in the tree above us that was attacking a bird. So we back up a little bit more and the snake and bird fell out of the tree right infront of us. This spooked both of our horses. Rylee's ran off behind the house toward the woods and mine ran towards a tree in the front yard. I was doing everything I could to get the horse to stop. But it was not doing anything I told it. Then BOOM! The horse ran me under a low lying tree limb. The limb knocked me back on the horse to where it looked like I was laying down on his back. My feet were still in the stirups. The limb got caught on my shirt and pulled it right off me. So there I was sitting on the horse shirtless infront of the guy I had a huge crush on. Rylee's sister and dad had run around the back of the house to find her. Antone and Rylee's mom ran out to where I finally got my horse to stop. Antone had my shirt in his hands and was trying to get me to come off the horse. But I wanted my shirt first. I was so embarassed. He handed me my shirt and then helped me off the horse. Rylee's mom grabbed the reigns and was leading the horse around to the barn when her dad ran back out front and yelled that he needed help. So we all ran behind the house and followed him into the woods. When we got back there we saw what had happened. Rylee's horse had bucked her off and then in mid air when she was falling it kicked her in the stomach and threw her into the barbwire fence. The fence had wrapped around her. So no matter how we tried to untangle her it pulled somewhere else. Her sister ran inside to call 911. Then Antone showed up with the wire cutters. And her dad started cutting the fence off of her one wire at a time. Her mom put the horses up and I just talked to her and told her that she was going to be ok. Once she was loose the ambulance had showed up and they let her mom ride with her to the hospital. My mom showed up about 20 minutes after they left to pick me and my sister up. We were surprised to find out that she had no internal injuries. She had a broken leg and cuts and bruises. We were very careful about where we rode the horses after she got better. Like I said horses and trees don't mix.

Sand in cracks I didn't know I had

There are lots of islands just off the coast where I grew up. And my dad and Millie's dad have a thing for going out to the islands to go fishing. You catch the big fish out there. This trip was going to be different though. We were all going. The guys weren't going to have all the fun this time. I was a tomboy anyway so I had been out there lots of times. But some of the other girls that came with us had never spent the night on an island so they were in for a surprise. We showed up very well equiped for the weekend. And it was a ton of us going. There was a married couple from the cangregation that we all attended. And the whole Anders Family which was the mom and dad and three boys. Then it was Millie's whole family. And her cousins Blair and Taylor. I was the odd one out. I was engaged to Millie's brother Raymond. Who I later married. I brought a swimsuit and a towel. A sleeping bag and a pillow. Millie's mom brought tents, a cooker, food in a cooler, drinks, blankets, pillows, fans and a generator to run some stuff on. Raymond brought his tent and an air mattress and a fishing pole. Like I said we were well equiped for this trip. Millie's dad said we brought too much. And Millie's mom said it's better to over pack than to under pack. It took a while to get out to the island. This was because the Shoe's boat wasn't running very well. It kept over heating and it ran very slow. Millies dad's boat was to the island dropped people off and came back to help us get to the island before we were even half way there. When we got there most of the tents were set up and Millie's mom was cooking some food. The Anders were getting fire wood and some of them were already fishing. The girls were laying out on the beach getting some sun which they would later regret. I was already turning pink from the ride over. So when we got there I put some more sunscreen on and a hat. We set up our tent which the wind knocked over three times. Blair and Taylor were both on their periods. I have no idea why they came out the island at that time of the month. They were going to be misserable. That night the guys stayed out all night sitting in lawn chairs fishing in their sleep. Millie went out to the waters edge and found a crab. She brought it up to show us and said that she was going to keep it as a pet. About an hour later she foud the crab dead. So she said maybe we could cook it and eat it. So she threw it in the fire. Then her oldest brother told us it was dangerous to eat a crab that had died before you had cooked it. So we got a stick and pulled it out of the fire and Millie desided that we should have a funeral and bury the crab. She named him George, and we said our goodbyes and burried him in the sand. I guess after all of that excitement we were ready to get some rest. Us girls were all crammed in a tent with a citronel candle. We were burning up in there. Taylor and I both have asthma so the heat and the candle was bothering us. So I moved my sleeping bag out onto the beach and tried to get some rest. Then I was attacked by ghost crabs. Scared the crap out of me. And I screamed and woke everyone up. Then I asked Raymond if I could sleep in his tent and use his fan. He said sure he wasn't going to sleep in there anyway. So I climbed in there and tried to sleep but the fan didn't help and I was still too hot. So I burst into the tent where Taylor was and I said, "Are you hot?" She said yes so I said, "Ok lets go sleep in the boat. The crabs can't get us there. And it wont be hot out there. We can bring the candle so the bugs don't bite us too." So we grab the candle my sleeping bag and her air mattress and some matches and tissue and floated it out to the boat. Then we went back out to the island so that Taylor could use the bathroom so we wouldn't have to get up later. We found a spot and dug a hole. I held a towel up so that noone could see her. When all of a sudden a flash light pointed in our direction. It was one of the Anders boys. He asked us if we needed a light. We both hollard "NO!" He laughed and walked away, but by that time Taylor had tried to hurry up and pull her pants up and she fell back into the spot where she just went to the bathroom. I felt so bad for her. So then we went out into the water and she washed off and we climbed into the boat. We lit the candle and curled up and fell asleep really fast. In the middle of the pitch blackness we heard splashing foot steps coming towards the boat. Then we hear the oldest Anders boy yell, "You know there are sharks in that water." Then we heard running splashing steps coming to the boat. Then a thump thump and Taylor grunts. It was Millie and Blair they had desided to come out to the boat and sleep too. Saying that we had taken the only candle they had. They landed in the boat on top of Taylor. I'm sure that was a pleasant way to wake up. So Taylor and me tried to go back to sleep. But Blair wanted to show us that she could count to 50 in french. And everytime she would mess up or get to 50 she would start over. And then she said her alphabet in spanish. This was just aggrivating us. We wanted to go back to sleep. So we told them, "Look we are sleepy what do you want?" They said they wanted the candle back and the matches. So we said, "Fine take them and let us sleep." So they grabbed them and started to go back to the island then chickened out. They remembered about the sharks. So they stayed and finally fell asleep. Early the next morning there was a thick fog everywhere. We were awoken by Millie screaming, "Oh my god, we have drifted off to sea!!" She grabbed a paddle and tried to touch the bottom of the water and she couldn't. But before we could get too upset we heard laughing. It was the oldest Anders boy. He said, "Y'all haven't drifted off to sea. You are beached." So being that we couldn't go back to sleep after that we all got up and rinsed the night air off in the cold water. Then Millie's mom started cooking breakfast. As soon as we ate and the fog lifted Millie's dad and the rest of the guys went off on the boat to go fishing. Well the Middle Anders boy stayed with the girls he wasn't that excited about fishing after fishing all night. We entertained ourselves by fishing from the beach and burring each other in the sand. I burried Millie, Blair and the Anders boy in the sand and made them all womens bodies. Blair wanted big boobs and a big butt. So I made hers the biggest. We have a picture somewhere of all of them in the sand with sand bodies. Mrs. Shoe was laughing so hard at us that her chair broke and she landed backwards in the sand. We have a picture of that too. We all laughed and then had lunch. Lunch was kinda crunchy from all the sand that had gone around. When the guys got back we packed everything up and headed back to the land. Taylor was so glad to be back on real land where there were tubs and air conditioning. We were all sunburned and had sand in cracks we didn't know we had. So the first thing on everyone's list was to take a bath. We got back to Millie's house and I got the first bath. Then Taylor got the second and Blair the third. Millie got the last one. The guys just rinsed off with the water hose in the front yard. Millie's mom and Mrs. Anders started fixing a snack for everyone. I sat down on the couch to rest when I heard a squeal from the front yard. It was Millie's mom. She ran inside and jumped on the couch next to me and grabbed me and started huging me. Raymond had told her that he had asked me to marry him and she was so excited. Then all the rest of the women wanted to hug me too. After all of the excitement died down we ate our snack and rested while the guys skinned the fish and divided everything up. That night we had a fish fry. I was so tired the next day that I don't remember anything that happened.

Headless Orello

Taylor has always been scared of everything. So I have this story from my point of view and hers. It was me, Lana, Taylor and Orello. We were all staying at my house for the night. And we had been playing all afternoon. First it was hide and seek out side then when it got too dark it moved inside. Which at my mom's house there were lots of places to hide. We have these huge closets that you could get behind the clothes or up in the top behind toys. Taylor was evidently sleepy. It was her turn to seek us. So we told her to count to 1000 while we got good hiding places. I hid Lana in the clothes in her room laying down on the floor. Then I put Orello up in the top of the closet and stacked stuffed toys all over her and told her not to move. Then I crawled up under the bed and waited. Well we all fell asleep while we were waiting for her to come find us. I guess that once we got still that was all it took. The next day Taylor wakes up in my room all alone and gets up to look for everyone. My dad was at work and mom had gone up the street to get groceries while we were still asleep. So when she couldn't find us she went to wake my mom up and she wasn't there. So she freaked out and called her mom and told her that there wasn't anyone in the house. Her mom didn't believe her. What adult is going to pack up all the kids and leave Taylor there by herself. But to calm Taylor down she said she was on her way to come get her. So Taylor goes in my sisters room to see if she missed us in there and she noticed Orello's head in the top of the closet surrounded by stuffed animals. She freaked and screamed, " Oh my god, someone had killed everyone and stuck Orello's head in the closet!" This woke us up. Lana rolled out of the closet and said, "You finally found us." Taylor screamed again. Then Orello moved and all the toys came falling out of the closet and Taylor screamed again. So I come climbing out from under the bed and say, " What took you so long?" She was upset and confussed. So I had to explain to her that we were playing hide and seek and it was her turn. She said, "I fell asleep and I don't remember anything from last night." I said, "Well you said ok last night. And we all hid and you never showed up so we fell asleep." She said, "Yeah well I woke up and nobody was here. Your mom isn't even here so I called my mom and told her I was all alone." So after finding out that everything was ok she had to call her mom and tell her that she was ok but that she was still ready to go home. So her mom came and got her. She could have sworn that someone had decapitated Orello. And she tells this story to people still.

What does it taste like?

My sister has never been the brightest crayon in the box. But she really showed it on a shopping trip to wal-mart. It was just me and her and we were there to get hair dye. I was going to go from being a brunette to a red head. I wanted a change and I had finally talked my mom into it. She comes from the age where you don't wear makeup or dye your hair. She always told me that if I dyed my hair it would fall out. Then she would tell me the story about Ann who was a hair dresser that dyed her hair and it all fell out. She had to wear a wig until it grew back and it was never as full as it was before she dyed it. So I was a little worried about it. I believed my mom knew what she was talking about. It wasn't until later that I thought about it and knew why that story didn't apply to me. Ann was a hair dresser and it probably wasn't the first time she had dyed her hair. And if you dye your hair too often it will make it fragile and break off or fall out. Plus the way you dye her type of hair and how you dye my type of hair is completely different. So I had debated with my sister for a good hour on what color would look best on me. As we were walking out of the makeup section she saw some perfume that said it was apple scented. But when she picked it up she said that it was apple flavored. So I said, "What does it taste like then?" So she sprays this perfume in her mouth. A big old sqirt of it. She started coughing and then looked at me and in a very hacky voice said, " It tastes like hair spray." I couldn't stop laughing after that. I realised what she had done and I went straight home to tell mom what she had done. My mom just shook her head. Oh and I looked good as a redhead.

The Beatles did it

K-mart was the alternative to wal-mart back when we still had a k-mart down here. And if you didn't want to fight the crowds at wal-mart, k-mart was pretty relaxed and not as crowded. I think me and Skitt were just killing time that day. But we didn't have to energy to kill it at wal-mart. We always started by the jewlery and makeup. We talked to the lady behind the jewlery counter about the new stuff she had out. It was so pretty. Then we went over to the sample table to check out what color lipstick looked best on ourselves. I desided I liked plum colors on me. And Skitt liked pinks and reds. We both saw something behind each other that we wanted to check out. We have minds that are connected in some way. We thing about the same thing at the same time lots of times. Seems to happen in blockbuster alot. Well we both went for opposet sides of each other at the same time. And Bam! We tripped over each others feet. We have never been very well coordinated with our feet. We tried the beatles walk and tripped all over ourselves. My right foot and her right foot connected and we both fell face first to the ground at the same time. We both kicked this whole display of fingernail polish over. Fingernail polish bottles rolled in all different direction. We both jumped up and ran like we had just stolen something. We hid in the baby section til we could make a clean get away out the front doors. We walked really fast out the doors. Once we got into the car we both started laughing. We realised that the security cameras probably caught the whole thing on tape. We didn't go back in k-mart for a long time. Do you blame us?

Dread locks and dresses

My friends and I have gone thru some really bad style phases. There was the madonna style in the early 80's. The pink tutus and one hot pink sock and one electric green sock. But this phase was worse. It was a mixture. They called it grunge. I remember staying up all night putting tiny braids in Elle and Skitt's hair. Then Elle did mind. On Skitt's head to save time I did one side and Elle did the other. The thing is that I'm right handed and Elle is left handed. So the braids were going in different directions and we braided in totally different styles. So she looked lop sided. But it was ok we weren't planning on going anywhere. At least that is what we thought. The next morning my mom woke us up to tell us that we had a meeting that morning to attend. We kinda freaked, but what was the use we didn't have time to take the braids out so we just put our makeup and dresses on. To top the whole look off we had converse shoes on to look the part. Yeah we looked pretty rediculous. But we thought it was cool. We got weird looks the whole time we were there. But we were grunge we didn't care it was the fashion. We got home and changed into some flannel dresses. They were baby doll dresses so they just came down below our butts. I took my braids out because they were falling out. So we had the look now. And to capture the look we got out a disposible camera and took a whole roll of film of ourselves. My mom took a couple of shots. She didn't like our dresses cause they were too short. And I said we aren't going anywhere and we have shorts on underneath. So she took the pictures and went inside. We were modeling for the camera and having alot of fun doing it. We took some pictures on the swingset in my front yard. Then we took some on the tree swing which was made out of the metal part of an old exercise trampoline. Hey it worked. Pretty inventive for a bunch of kids. Then we took pictures balancing on the teeter totter. We got two really good pictures out of that shot. And one really funny one of us all falling on it. I still have those pictures. Then we stuck the cd player out the window and swang on the swingset and sang at the top of our lungs to every song that came on the radio.

Fingernail Polish High

I had a huge collection of fingernail polish. I mean any color you could think of. Why? I don't know. But it came in handy one day. It was me, Lana, Elle and Skitt all up in my room with nothing to do. So we came up with something to do. I pulled out my collection of polish which filled an entire dresser drawer. And started painting each others legs with it. We made a mosaic out of ourselves. Skitt was afraid she would be allergic to some of it so we didn't put too much on her. But Me and Elle were covered. I drew a sun with a face and a moon with a face on her. Then colored all around them with two different colors of blue. Light blue for the sun and dark blue for the moon. Then just all kinds of designs all over her. She painted my legs then we all painted Lana's legs. When we were done we were all giggly and couldn't stop laughing. My mom burst into the room and said, "What is that smell?" Then she realised we had done all of that painting with the window closed. She ran over and opened the window to let fresh air in and told us that we smelled bad. Then she said that she was going to go to the club to go swiming and if we wanted to go we had to go get our bathing suits on now. So we all got up and ran to the bathroom to get our suits on. It was hard to walk with all that fingernail polish on our legs. Once we got to the club we jumped into the pool. Everyone was looking at us like we were crazy. Then we realised that the polish was flaking off our legs. The life guard on duty told us we had to go get all the polish off before we could get back in the pool. So we headed for the showers to scrub it off. Mine, Elle's and Skitt's came off easy. We just used soap and pulled off whole chunks of polish off like the peel of a banana. Lana on the other hand wasn't old enough to shave her legs yet so it was all stuck in the hair on her legs. One of us had to hold her down while the other two took turns trying to shave the hair and polish off of her. I'm sure everyone outside could hear us. It sounded like this. Me: "Look you are going to have to be still or I'm going to end up cutting you." Lana: "I don't think I want to swim anymore. Just stop." Elle: "It has to come off sometime you can't go around looking like this forever." Skitt: "You need to learn how to shave anyway. You are getting old enough to start doing this." Lana: "But it hurts!" Me: "Beauty hurts sometimes." Lana: "I would rather be ugly then." Elle: "Hold your breath we are going to just pull this big piece off really quick. It will feel like a bandaid." Lana: "No! Ow, you guys are trying to kill me. Get off! No! Help me they are trying to skin me alive!!" Elle: "There was that so bad?" Lana: "Yes! You guys are never going to talk me into putting polish on my legs ever again." Me: "Well now that your legs aren't hairy anymore it wont hurt to get it off next time." Lana: "I don't care! I'm going swimming now." Then we all got up and rinsed off and went swimming until the club closed at sundown. We never painted our legs again.

Beer and Mayonnaise

My mom told me once that when she was younger her and her friends would wash their hair with beer and mayo. Sounded nasty but then she explained it to me. The mayo deep conditions the hair and the beer makes it very shiny. So I told my friends about it and we desided to try it. We were all at Millie's house that day. We got the big jar of mayo from the fridge and a couple of beers. We did it all outside cause we didn't want to have to clean a bathroom up afterwards. See I learned something from the koolaid experience. We all dug into the jar of mayo and started slathering it in our hair. It smelled really bad. I said, "Mom said you have to leave it in for 5 minutes then rinse it out." So we walked in circles to avoid the smell of our own heads. Those were a long 5 minutes. Taylor was gaging the whole time. She ended up rinsing her hair out early. So Millie and me helped her pour the beer in her hair. She yelled and wiggled the whole time. She stood up really quick and looked at us with this look of guilt. She said, "I swallowed some. My mom is going to kill me. I'm underage, what am I going to do." We started laughing at her. I said, "A swallow of it wont make you drunk silly. Besides you are going to smell like beer when you go home because it is in your hair." She freaked out and started trying to rinse the smell out. "That's not going to work." Millie says. So then Taylor runs inside and grabs a bottle of coconut scented shampoo. She runs outside and put a huge glob of it in her hair and lathers it up then rinses. "Come smell my head now." she said. So we did. I said, "Now it smells like coconut and beer." She said, "Great! I'm dead. My mom is going to kill me dead." I said, "Just tell your mom you washed your hair with mayo and beer she had probably heard of that before." She finally calms down and we get on to finishing our hair. A word of advise. Don't use beer that has been in the fridge. It was very cold. When we were done it was time for all of us to go home. As far as I know Taylor didn't get into trouble. She is still alive.
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Old 04-30-2007, 08:25 PM
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Old 04-30-2007, 10:11 PM
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