Just some Jokes - Page 3

Cherry-Bomb Productions · #21 (**permalink**) 12-13-2006, 11:45 AM

A boy in the sixth grade comes home after school one day. His mother notices that he's got a big smile on his face. She asks, "Did anything special happen at school today?"
"Yes, Mom. I had sex with my English teacher!"
The mother is stunned. "You're going to talk about this with your father when he gets home."
Well, when dad comes home and hears the news he is pleased as punch. Beaming with pride, he walks over to his son and says, "Son, I hear you had sex with your English teacher."
"That's right, Dad."
"Well, you became a man today - this is cause for celebration. Let's head out for some ice cream, and then I'll buy that new bike you've been asking for."
"That sounds great, Dad, but I can I have a football instead? My ass is killing me."

Cherry-Bomb Productions · #22 (**permalink**) 12-13-2006, 11:46 AM

Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."
Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"
The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."

Cherry-Bomb Productions · #23 (**permalink**) 12-13-2006, 11:48 AM

A guy walks into a bar, and as he makes his way to the counter, he stops and talks to everyone in the bar. As he finishes with each group of people, they all get up and leave and go stand outside the window, looking in. Finally, the bar is empty except for this guy and the bartender. The man walks up to the counter, and says to the bartender, "I bet you $500 that I can pee into a shot glass from 30 feet away, and not get any outside the glass." The bartender thinks that this guy is a nutcase, but he wants his $500, so he agrees. They get out a shot glass, the bartender paces off 30 feet, and the contest begins. The man pees all over the bar. He doesn't even touch the shot glass. When he finishes, the bartender looks at him and says,"Well, I guess you owe me $500, huh?"The man answers, "Yeah, but I bet all of those people outside the window $200 apiece that I could come in here and pee all over the bar."

sixstringer66 · #24 (**permalink**) 12-13-2006, 11:59 AM

hehehehhahahahaha stop it,,, your killing me....hahahahahah

sixstringer66 · #25 (**permalink**) 12-13-2006, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cherry-Bomb Productions

Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."
Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"
The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."

now thats my kinda joke. hahahahahahum,

Cherry-Bomb Productions · #26 (**permalink**) 12-29-2006, 11:39 AM

A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend, he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?" "My mother died in June, and left me $10,000." said the friend. "Gee, that's tough," he replied. "Then in July," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $50,000." The man looking concerned says, "Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed." The friend continues, "And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000." "Three close family members lost in three months??? How sad!!!" "Then this month,..." continued, the friend, "Nothing! Not a single dime!"