2007's Dudeliest Dudes of the Year
Askmen.com thinks David Beckham is this year's alpha male. We disagree.
The guys at Askmen.com must have been high on hair dye fumes when they picked Becks as the manliest man of 2007, so we went ahead and made a list of guys who helped our fine gender progress the most over the last calendar year.
10. Robert Rodriguez
Grindhouse didn't exactly clean up at the box office, but Rodriguez's Planet Terror was a fine addition to his already-respectable résumé.
2007 Highlights
• Convincing Rose McGowan to wear a machine gun for a leg.
• Wearing a cowboy hat and not looking like a total douche.
• Convincing Rose McGowan to marry him.
9. Vinnie Jones
When Vinnie was a soccer player he used his fists almost as much as his feet. All that scrapping has made him one of the most believable tough-guy actors around.
2007 Highlights
• Ran around the jungle alongside Stone Cold Steve Austin in The Condemned.
• Didn't get injured and frost the tips of his hair like some other famous soccer players we can think of.
8. 50 Cent
If bulletproof vests weren't so friggin' expensive, we would totally wear one, too.
2007 Highlights
• He didn't beat Kanye in sales, but we give him a ton of credit for not falling into the trap of crossover rap-rock and ridiculously stupid sunglasses.
• Filed a lawsuit against one of those irritating Internet ad companies for using his image in a banner for ringtones.
7. Master Chief
The man behind the Spartan armor is once again giving everyone a reason to go on Xbox Live and swear like crazy with Halo 3.
2007 Highlights
• Made the assault rifle the hot new accessory for this year's holiday season.
• Saved all life in the universe from being completely incinerated. You're welcome.
6. Lemmy
Motorhead's frontman has lived a rock star life that makes Mötley Crüe look like a boy's choir.
2007 Highlights
• Smoked more than any other man alive.
• Had more dirty hotel sex than any other man alive.
• Continued to have the world's gnarliest mole.
5. Bear Grylls
Until he broke his spine in a parachuting accident, Bear was a member of the British special forces. Now he makes his money eating grubs and giving tips on how to survive in the wilderness on Man Vs. Wild.
2007 Highlights
• He suffered some criticism about the reality of his show, but we think any guy that will drink the moisture off of elephant poo deserves a night in a hotel now and then.
• Flew a paraglider over the Himalayan mountains and almost froze to death.
4. Mike Rowe
The host of Discovery's awesomely disgusting show Dirty Jobs gives cubicle jockeys plenty of reasons to appreciate their TPS-report-ravaged lives.
2007 Highlights
• Touched more different kinds of animal puke and crap than anyone else on the planet.
• Put his life on the line for the sake of good TV. That's our kind of guy.
3. Chuck Norris
If Chuck hadn't invented our current system of time measurement, we wouldn't have a 2007 in the first place.
2007 Highlights
• Getting political in '07 by backing presidential candidate Mike Huckabee. He campaigns by breaking the arms of the other candidates.
• Single-handedly made beards cool again.
2. Jimmy Kimmel
Sorry, Conan, when it comes to talk show hosts, Jimmy is our guy right now. He's funny, down to earth, and always makes sure his pool house is stocked with towels for his permanent houseguest, Adam Carolla.
2007 Highlights
• Filled the chairs of wrinkled TV heavyweights Larry King and Regis Philbin.
• Swapped fluids with one of our favorite funny ladies, Sarah Silverman. Nice!
• Unleashed the Internet phenomenon that is "Chocolate Rain" upon the world.
1. Randy Couture
The UFC's heavyweight champ has been setting the standard for ass-beatings with his vicious takedowns since many of his competitors were wearing yellow belts.
2007 Highlights
• TKO'd Gabriel Gonzaga—who is 16 years younger—in three rounds and retained his heavyweight title at UFC 74.
• Left the UFC to pursue his acting career and make some dough without getting his face pounded on six days a week.
• Put out a line of skull-laden clothes through Affliction called Xtreme Couture.
