Canada's Immigration Problem

Mikael · 02-07-2008, 07:17 PM

The following is an excerpt from an "underground" Manitoba newspaper:

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop illegal immigration. The actions of President Bush are prompting the exodus of left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly. Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists, and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.

"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. "The producer was cold and hungry, and asked me if I could spare a latte and some free range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective...the liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, and drive them across the border to leave them to fend for themselves. "A lot of these people aren't prepared for rugged conditions", and Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of water, but they did have a nice Napa Valley Cabernet."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps, in which lierals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR. In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crosing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration officials started quizzing supposed senior-citizen passengers about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the 1950's. "If they can't identify the accordian player on 'The Lawrence Welk Show', we get suspicious about their age", an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies. "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them", and Ottowa resident said. :How many art history, philosophy, or english majors does one country need?"

wilthrill · 02-08-2008, 08:25 AM

Now that is some funny shit!!! If only.....

ssspert · 02-08-2008, 08:28 AM

Can you blame them?
The U.S. is quickly becoming the "new" Mexico.

wilthrill · 02-11-2008, 01:16 PM

I still like my idea I announced a couple of months ago after San Fransisco once again disrespected our military.

1. Pull all military personnel out of the San Fransisco area.

2. Build fence at the border of Mexico and build fence around San Fransisco with only ONE WAY out.

3. Give conservatives (all three of them) 30 days to vacate the San Fransisco area.

4. Start running national ads on TV telling illegal aliens that they can live freely and get welfare and health care in San Fransisco.

5. After thirty day vacate period no one comes out of San Fransisco although all who want to enter are allowed to do so.

6. Sit back and watch the liberal "utopia" that results when liberals are allowed to govern and be compassionate with THEIR OWN money.

Mikael · 02-12-2008, 10:56 AM

I can see the prices of Latte's rising now, lol!

PITBOSS · 02-12-2008, 03:41 PM

Will, you may be on to something there.

Mikael · 02-12-2008, 05:11 PM

On the other side of the coin, I wonder how many right wing groups will reopen their "compounds" if Clinton or Obama win the White House, lol!

wilthrill · 02-13-2008, 09:04 AM

Well one difference mikael.

The "right wingers" generally speaking want to be left alone. You know they are afraid of Zog or the Whore of Babylon or the Antichrist or whomever and so they want to withdraw from society. Their attitude is that society is evil therefore they will retreat into their own "society" (you know typically with folks who are like them). They are NOT asking that society PAY FOR THEM!!!

The "lefties" want to control society not withdraw from it. A good example is MONEY. The lefties are NEVER content to use THEIR OWN MONEY to fund their "charity". Look at illegal immigration which is just the latest example. WE, the taxpayers, pay so that the lefties can feel good about THEMSELVES and say, "look at how compassionate WE LEFTIES are." Take Hollywood for example. There is enough money in liberal Hollywood to fund literally THOUSANDS of illegals and yet they fund NONE!!! (btw, paying an illegal half wages to clean your house or mow your yard does not count as "charity").

That and their utter disrespect for the men who PAY FOR THEIR FREEDOMS are the REASONS I came up with my Fence San Francisco Plan. Let's give the liberals the chance to put THEIR MONEY where their mouths are!!!!

Mikael · 02-14-2008, 12:32 PM

Can we build another fence around Beverly Hills as well? lol!

The Good Reverend, MATCHEW · 02-14-2008, 01:51 PM

how about all of Cali?
"learn to swim...see you down in Arizona Bay"

02-07-2008, 07:17 PM	#1 (permalink)
Mikael Band Member Band Whore Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Down In a Hole Posts: 905 Rep Power: 43	Canada's Immigration Problem The following is an excerpt from an "underground" Manitoba newspaper: The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop illegal immigration. The actions of President Bush are prompting the exodus of left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly. Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists, and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. "The producer was cold and hungry, and asked me if I could spare a latte and some free range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?" In an effort to stop illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective...the liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk." Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, and drive them across the border to leave them to fend for themselves. "A lot of these people aren't prepared for rugged conditions", and Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of water, but they did have a nice Napa Valley Cabernet." When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps, in which lierals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR. In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crosing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration officials started quizzing supposed senior-citizen passengers about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the 1950's. "If they can't identify the accordian player on 'The Lawrence Welk Show', we get suspicious about their age", an official said. Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies. "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them", and Ottowa resident said. :How many art history, philosophy, or english majors does one country need?" __________________ I just saved a ton of money on car insurance by switching to no car insurance!!! www.myspace.com/13468360

02-08-2008, 08:28 AM	#3 (permalink)
ssspert Band Member Productive GCB Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: wemo Posts: 1,807 Rep Power: 12	Can you blame them? The U.S. is quickly becoming the "new" Mexico. __________________ Straight Shots Myspace page My Myspace Bass page email ME for Straight Shot booking information. “Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.” James Dean

02-12-2008, 10:56 AM	#5 (permalink)
Mikael Band Member Band Whore Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Down In a Hole Posts: 905 Rep Power: 43	I can see the prices of Latte's rising now, lol! __________________ I just saved a ton of money on car insurance by switching to no car insurance!!! www.myspace.com/13468360

02-12-2008, 03:41 PM	#6 (permalink)
PITBOSS Band Whore Join Date: May 2005 Location: Grand Bay Age: 33 Posts: 286 Rep Power: 39	Will, you may be on to something there. __________________ "Oil is going up because we use too much oil, and the capacity to replace reserves is dwindling" -President Bush 11/07/07

02-12-2008, 05:11 PM	#7 (permalink)
Mikael Band Member Band Whore Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Down In a Hole Posts: 905 Rep Power: 43	On the other side of the coin, I wonder how many right wing groups will reopen their "compounds" if Clinton or Obama win the White House, lol! __________________ I just saved a ton of money on car insurance by switching to no car insurance!!! www.myspace.com/13468360

02-08-2008, 08:25 AM	#2 (permalink)
wilthrill Band Whore Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 818 Rep Power: 44	Now that is some funny shit!!! If only.....

02-11-2008, 01:16 PM	#4 (permalink)
wilthrill Band Whore Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 818 Rep Power: 44	I still like my idea I announced a couple of months ago after San Fransisco once again disrespected our military. 1. Pull all military personnel out of the San Fransisco area. 2. Build fence at the border of Mexico and build fence around San Fransisco with only ONE WAY out. 3. Give conservatives (all three of them) 30 days to vacate the San Fransisco area. 4. Start running national ads on TV telling illegal aliens that they can live freely and get welfare and health care in San Fransisco. 5. After thirty day vacate period no one comes out of San Fransisco although all who want to enter are allowed to do so. 6. Sit back and watch the liberal "utopia" that results when liberals are allowed to govern and be compassionate with THEIR OWN money.

02-13-2008, 09:04 AM	#8 (permalink)
wilthrill Band Whore Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 818 Rep Power: 44	Well one difference mikael. The "right wingers" generally speaking want to be left alone. You know they are afraid of Zog or the Whore of Babylon or the Antichrist or whomever and so they want to withdraw from society. Their attitude is that society is evil therefore they will retreat into their own "society" (you know typically with folks who are like them). They are NOT asking that society PAY FOR THEM!!! The "lefties" want to control society not withdraw from it. A good example is MONEY. The lefties are NEVER content to use THEIR OWN MONEY to fund their "charity". Look at illegal immigration which is just the latest example. WE, the taxpayers, pay so that the lefties can feel good about THEMSELVES and say, "look at how compassionate WE LEFTIES are." Take Hollywood for example. There is enough money in liberal Hollywood to fund literally THOUSANDS of illegals and yet they fund NONE!!! (btw, paying an illegal half wages to clean your house or mow your yard does not count as "charity"). That and their utter disrespect for the men who PAY FOR THEIR FREEDOMS are the REASONS I came up with my Fence San Francisco Plan. Let's give the liberals the chance to put THEIR MONEY where their mouths are!!!!

02-14-2008, 12:32 PM	#9 (permalink)
Mikael Band Member Band Whore Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Down In a Hole Posts: 905 Rep Power: 43	Can we build another fence around Beverly Hills as well? lol! __________________ I just saved a ton of money on car insurance by switching to no car insurance!!! www.myspace.com/13468360

02-14-2008, 01:51 PM	#10 (permalink)
The Good Reverend, MATCHEW Agent Jones, at your service. GCB Senior Citizen Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Ocean Springs, MS Posts: 2,356 Rep Power: 32	how about all of Cali? "learn to swim...see you down in Arizona Bay" __________________ www.Ko-Lija.com www.MySpace.com/KoLija www.MySpace.com/OSMUSICFEST