Sheryl Crow tells me how to wipe my ass

wilthrill · 04-23-2007, 05:01 PM

http://michellemalkin.com/archives/007364.htm

So 1 sheet per shit unless it's a "pesky" (no definiton even attemtped) shit and then only 3 sheets??????

A few points/questions:

1. Does anyone out there honestly need directions on how to wipe their ass from this environmental "expert"? If I want to know about "girls wanting to have fun" I might consult Ms Crow but wiping my ass?????

2. I'm not a scientist and don't play one on TV but isn't methane the major ingredient in shit even giving it it's distinctive odor? Also doesn't HEAT + METHANE = GREENHOUSE GASSES (you know the cow flatulence is contributing to global warming argument)? So, bear with me here, two shit- covered buttocks rubbing together in the hot Mississippi summer heat should generate some METHANE emissions (those close to you will smell it) and thus offset any "gain" to the environment from using only 1 sheet?

3. Krafty Ken I've got another business idea for you. Sheryl Crow Toilet Paper. You know how regular toilet paper has 6 inch by 6 inch sheets? Sheryl Crow Toilet Paper will have 6 inch by 3 FEET "sheets" and thus you can clean your ass while cleaning the environment by using only one sheet?

And finally, those who comment about not wanting to shake Ms Crow's hand are mistaken. I'd lick her bum because given the liberal "logic" (do as I say NOT as I do) I'd bet money she uses a whole DAMN ROLL every time she shits!!

putzdaddy · 04-24-2007, 01:47 PM

I'm all about some Crow t.p.

wilthrill · 04-24-2007, 06:04 PM

Yeah Putz I was thinking more about it.

The Sheryl Crow Toilet Paper theme song could be

sang to the tune of "Soak up the Sun" "I want soak up the ...." then due to FCC regulations there would be a beep.

As for her ass and Lance Armstrong.... well I'd better not say it.

But I will repeat my offer to lick Ms Crowe's ass. Given the liberal logic on conservation "you conserve gas while I fly on my private jet" I'd bet her ass is the cleanest thing within ten feet of her at any given time. So Sheryl if you're listening I'll be waiting......... (I'll be the one with his tongue hanging out doing the Clit Commander speech from "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back").

The Good Reverend, MATCHEW · 04-28-2007, 02:44 PM

She doesn't have to worry about whiping...I'll take care of it for her.

The Wayniac · 04-29-2007, 09:12 PM

i guess we could wipe our asses with her CD's ?

wilthrill · 04-30-2007, 11:01 AM

Exactly Matchew, just trying to lend a hand so to speak!!!

PS now Ms Crow says it all was a joke. The tape of her comments I heard sounded serious enough but even assuming it was a joke doesn't it say something about the LUNACY of the global warmers that pretty much everyone (even good liberals like John Stewart of the Daily Show) took her "argument" at face value???

"I'm gonna soak up the sh*t, gonna tell everyone to lighten up"
I'm telling you that Sheryl Crow Toilet Paper is a good idea...

04-23-2007, 05:01 PM	#1 (permalink)
wilthrill Band Whore Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 823 Rep Power: 46	Sheryl Crow tells me how to wipe my ass http://michellemalkin.com/archives/007364.htm So 1 sheet per shit unless it's a "pesky" (no definiton even attemtped) shit and then only 3 sheets?????? A few points/questions: 1. Does anyone out there honestly need directions on how to wipe their ass from this environmental "expert"? If I want to know about "girls wanting to have fun" I might consult Ms Crow but wiping my ass????? 2. I'm not a scientist and don't play one on TV but isn't methane the major ingredient in shit even giving it it's distinctive odor? Also doesn't HEAT + METHANE = GREENHOUSE GASSES (you know the cow flatulence is contributing to global warming argument)? So, bear with me here, two shit- covered buttocks rubbing together in the hot Mississippi summer heat should generate some METHANE emissions (those close to you will smell it) and thus offset any "gain" to the environment from using only 1 sheet? 3. Krafty Ken I've got another business idea for you. Sheryl Crow Toilet Paper. You know how regular toilet paper has 6 inch by 6 inch sheets? Sheryl Crow Toilet Paper will have 6 inch by 3 FEET "sheets" and thus you can clean your ass while cleaning the environment by using only one sheet? And finally, those who comment about not wanting to shake Ms Crow's hand are mistaken. I'd lick her bum because given the liberal "logic" (do as I say NOT as I do) I'd bet money she uses a whole DAMN ROLL every time she shits!!

04-24-2007, 01:47 PM	#2 (permalink)
putzdaddy Band Member Band Whore Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: the GPT Posts: 368 Rep Power: 35	I'm all about some Crow t.p. __________________ metal health will drive you mad!!! www.myspace.com/bestleftunsaid

04-28-2007, 02:44 PM	#4 (permalink)
The Good Reverend, MATCHEW Agent Jones, at your service. GCB Senior Citizen Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 2,406 Rep Power: 34	She doesn't have to worry about whiping...I'll take care of it for her. __________________ www.Ko-Lija.com www.MySpace.com/KoLija www.MySpace.com/OSMUSICFEST

04-29-2007, 09:12 PM	#5 (permalink)
The Wayniac Moderator Band Whore Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Mobile, AL. Posts: 959 Rep Power: 44	i guess we could wipe our asses with her CD's ? __________________ ______________________ Less Ego equals More Jam.

04-24-2007, 06:04 PM	#3 (permalink)
wilthrill Band Whore Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 823 Rep Power: 46	Yeah Putz I was thinking more about it. The Sheryl Crow Toilet Paper theme song could be sang to the tune of "Soak up the Sun" "I want soak up the ...." then due to FCC regulations there would be a beep. As for her ass and Lance Armstrong.... well I'd better not say it. But I will repeat my offer to lick Ms Crowe's ass. Given the liberal logic on conservation "you conserve gas while I fly on my private jet" I'd bet her ass is the cleanest thing within ten feet of her at any given time. So Sheryl if you're listening I'll be waiting......... (I'll be the one with his tongue hanging out doing the Clit Commander speech from "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back").

04-30-2007, 11:01 AM	#6 (permalink)
wilthrill Band Whore Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 823 Rep Power: 46	Exactly Matchew, just trying to lend a hand so to speak!!! PS now Ms Crow says it all was a joke. The tape of her comments I heard sounded serious enough but even assuming it was a joke doesn't it say something about the LUNACY of the global warmers that pretty much everyone (even good liberals like John Stewart of the Daily Show) took her "argument" at face value??? "I'm gonna soak up the sh*t, gonna tell everyone to lighten up" I'm telling you that Sheryl Crow Toilet Paper is a good idea...