Is there ANYTHING that global warming doesn't cause??

wilthrill · #1 (**permalink**) 10-24-2007, 08:10 AM

Well let's review.

First global warming was causing WARMTH!

Well then in COLD TIMES we are told that global warming caused the COLD.

The global warming was drowning polar bears. This despite the fact that there are more polar bears than ever.

After Katrina, global warming was causing hurricanes.

Well we've had like five named storms in the TWO years since Katrina (not the 15 to 20 per year the global warming nuts were promising us) and global warming is causing that (something about it affecting the el nino and thus the tops are being sheared off the hurricanes before they can fully develop).

Global warming also cause the suffering in the Sudan because we all know it had nothing to do with the machete wielding muslim savages who killed men, women and children for the "crime" of not being muslim or in some cases not being muslim enough.

And now since the drive-bys, facing a lack of hurricanes, are desperate for CRISIS stories we are told that global warming is causing the wildfires in California.

WorldNetDaily: Global warming to blame for fires, says Harry Reid

You know Harry Reid you really ought to stick to authoring the Declaration of Incompetence and sending it to Rush Limbaugh!!!

So, is there ANYTHING that global warming doesn't cause?

And more importantly, is there any reason any RATIONALE person would listen to even one word these chicken little enemies of science spew forth???

ssspert · #2 (**permalink**) 10-24-2007, 08:46 AM

my nuts sweat more than normal.

winter last year was on a thursday, and the year before that it was on a weds...
Winter has always fallen on one day of the week down here...

wilthrill · #3 (**permalink**) 10-24-2007, 11:13 AM

not only did global warming cause your nuts to sweat more

but it caused your nuts to exist because remember that gleam in your daddy's eye before you were conceived? Global warming caused that.

and I still maintain that global warming has caused the callouses on my right hand...... getin warmer....getin warmer...getin...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

The Wayniac · #4 (**permalink**) 10-24-2007, 11:50 AM

Global warming causes divorce.

When its too hot for sex, marriages tend to suffer.

wilthrill · #5 (**permalink**) 10-25-2007, 07:45 AM

I just googled "global warming caused the wildfires in california" and got 369,000 hits!!!!!

global warming caused the wildfires in california - Google Search

And wayniac of course global warming causes divorce. Not only that but it also causes marriage. When it is hot people wear LESS clothes and thus more horny men get married. Which BTW is also one of the causes of divorce. So see how conveniently it works out. Global warming causes A because of B and causes Not A because of B. BTW this argument is no more specious than global warming causes warming and global warming causes cooling. Scientifically it is VERY convenient. When the facts DISPROVE your former hypothesis, claim a new hypothesis 180 degrees OPPOSED to your former hypothesis and claim that it is PROOF of the first hypothesis that just got disproven.

The Wayniac · #6 (**permalink**) 10-25-2007, 01:28 PM

Whenever I encounter global warming nutcases, I always ask them what caused the end of the last ice age ?

Cherry-Bomb Productions · #7 (**permalink**) 10-25-2007, 01:39 PM

I think it causes priapism too,or I might have confused Viagra for my heart meds...

wilthrill · #8 (**permalink**) 10-26-2007, 07:08 AM

Well there you go cherry bomb!!!! Imagine all the men running around "pitching a tent 24-7" because of global warming.

Actually that sounds like a benefit so we'd best keep this amongst ourselves, cherry.

Which, following dirt people "logic", must mean that global warming causes erectile dysfunction. Damn you, global warming!!!

junkernaut · #9 (**permalink**) 10-26-2007, 12:57 PM

all kidding aside, global warming can possibly cause all of these things. any change in ones environment can cause catostrophic changes to ones life. global warming is in fact real...its just not caused by what the celebrities would have u beleive. its a natural thing and the miniscule insects that we are on this planet arent gonna change much...the only thing we can do is adapt and evolve

wilthrill · #10 (**permalink**) 10-27-2007, 12:54 PM

No, junkernaut, global warming could NOT have caused ALL of these things.

Scientifically speaking I know of NOTHING that causes BOTH A and Not A to occur. It may have caused A. It may have caused Not A. But it couldn't have caused BOTH!

Global warming is either warming the planet or cooling the planet but not both. (I suspect given its name the correct answer is warming).