What Music Turns a Shark On?

wilthrill · 05-25-2007, 11:30 AM

http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIP...14/ltm.18.html

Yep, in the annals of groundbreaking research of vital importance to humanity this has got to be near the top (and no doubt funded by tax dollars).

So these guys are playing music to figure out which music turns the sharks on?

Well hell, why stop there?

Did they redecorate the tank so that male shark could feel comfortable in his bachelor pad?

And how about a couple of "centerfold" posters of female sharks masterbating or cupping their tits (oops I mean teats) with their fins and arching their backs?

How about the obligatory smoke afterwards? Did they provide the sharks with a cartoon of marlboros?

And how will they deal with the inevitable fight that breaks out when the male shark doesn't call the next day like he promised?

I don't know about you guys. I've never owned a shark but I have had several dogs and the ONLY reaction to any music I could get out of them is when my Jack Russell starts howling when an old Billy Squier song comes on the radio (the dog is highly intelligent). Otherwise it can be the most rocking song in the world, I'll be jamming (picture a spastic dork) and the dog is sitting there OBLIVIOUS!!!

putzdaddy · 05-25-2007, 02:45 PM

Who doesn't howl when a Billy Squier song comes on? Like you said, smart dog.

BTW- I'm glad to see that you don't always ponder the end of the world. Ther's hope after all!

I kid because I care, Will, you know that.

Mikael · 05-25-2007, 04:16 PM

Funny stuff. Like a shark really cares to set the mood. They know something's wrong and don't want to bring offspring into an environment that is not their own.

wilthrill · 05-26-2007, 10:31 PM

Well I also heard a story on the radio that apparently female sharks can fertilize THEMSELVES without the need to put up with that pesky male (lesbians there is hope).

So I wonder if perhaps some of those "female" sharks were really subaru drivers and if that could have had anything to do with the male's reluctance to mate with them? Just a thought. I mean if it were KD Lang or Mellissa Etheridge I might be kind of hesitant also. If so we need some of those PC police to "re-educate" these "lesbophobic" male sharks.

wilthrill · 05-26-2007, 10:34 PM

Oh and Putz, the only good use for a Billy Squier song is for me to poop on!

And I WAS pondering the end of the world as my latest doomsday scenario involves Hillary Clinton and lesbo sharks.

Cherry-Bomb Productions · 05-27-2007, 09:21 AM

I BELIEVE I ONCE SAW A DISCOVERY CHANNEL DOCUMENTARY ON HAMMERHEADS SAYING THEY PARTICULARLY LIKED THE WU-TANG CLAN.

wilthrill · 05-27-2007, 10:14 AM

Good work Cherrybomb, you've implicated the chinese.

Now if we can tie in the Bilbebergers, muslims, illegal immigrants, Bill Clinton personally, and the "elite", my dream of a Unified Field Conspiracy Theory may become reality.

05-25-2007, 11:30 AM	#1 (permalink)
wilthrill Band Whore Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 825 Rep Power: 46	What Music Turns a Shark On? http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIP...14/ltm.18.html Yep, in the annals of groundbreaking research of vital importance to humanity this has got to be near the top (and no doubt funded by tax dollars). So these guys are playing music to figure out which music turns the sharks on? Well hell, why stop there? Did they redecorate the tank so that male shark could feel comfortable in his bachelor pad? And how about a couple of "centerfold" posters of female sharks masterbating or cupping their tits (oops I mean teats) with their fins and arching their backs? How about the obligatory smoke afterwards? Did they provide the sharks with a cartoon of marlboros? And how will they deal with the inevitable fight that breaks out when the male shark doesn't call the next day like he promised? I don't know about you guys. I've never owned a shark but I have had several dogs and the ONLY reaction to any music I could get out of them is when my Jack Russell starts howling when an old Billy Squier song comes on the radio (the dog is highly intelligent). Otherwise it can be the most rocking song in the world, I'll be jamming (picture a spastic dork) and the dog is sitting there OBLIVIOUS!!! Last edited by wilthrill; 05-25-2007 at 11:33 AM.

05-25-2007, 02:45 PM	#2 (permalink)
putzdaddy Band Member Band Whore Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: the GPT Posts: 368 Rep Power: 35	Who doesn't howl when a Billy Squier song comes on? Like you said, smart dog. BTW- I'm glad to see that you don't always ponder the end of the world. Ther's hope after all! I kid because I care, Will, you know that. __________________ metal health will drive you mad!!! www.myspace.com/bestleftunsaid

05-25-2007, 04:16 PM	#3 (permalink)
Mikael Band Member Band Whore Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Down In a Hole Posts: 905 Rep Power: 45	Funny stuff. Like a shark really cares to set the mood. They know something's wrong and don't want to bring offspring into an environment that is not their own. __________________ I just saved a ton of money on car insurance by switching to no car insurance!!! www.myspace.com/13468360

05-27-2007, 09:21 AM	#6 (permalink)
Cherry-Bomb Productions MODERATOR BY DAY / NINJA BY NIGHT GCB Senior Citizen Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: A Padded Cell Posts: 2,744 Rep Power: 46	I BELIEVE I ONCE SAW A DISCOVERY CHANNEL DOCUMENTARY ON HAMMERHEADS SAYING THEY PARTICULARLY LIKED THE WU-TANG CLAN. __________________ -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- www.myspace.com/cherry_bomb_productions www.myspace.com/octavedownband नमस्ते THERE'S NOTHING LIKE A TRAIL OF BLOOD TO HELP YOU FIND YOUR WAY BACK HOME!!! 7

05-26-2007, 10:31 PM	#4 (permalink)
wilthrill Band Whore Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 825 Rep Power: 46	Well I also heard a story on the radio that apparently female sharks can fertilize THEMSELVES without the need to put up with that pesky male (lesbians there is hope). So I wonder if perhaps some of those "female" sharks were really subaru drivers and if that could have had anything to do with the male's reluctance to mate with them? Just a thought. I mean if it were KD Lang or Mellissa Etheridge I might be kind of hesitant also. If so we need some of those PC police to "re-educate" these "lesbophobic" male sharks.

05-26-2007, 10:34 PM	#5 (permalink)
wilthrill Band Whore Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 825 Rep Power: 46	Oh and Putz, the only good use for a Billy Squier song is for me to poop on! And I WAS pondering the end of the world as my latest doomsday scenario involves Hillary Clinton and lesbo sharks.

05-27-2007, 10:14 AM	#7 (permalink)
wilthrill Band Whore Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 825 Rep Power: 46	Good work Cherrybomb, you've implicated the chinese. Now if we can tie in the Bilbebergers, muslims, illegal immigrants, Bill Clinton personally, and the "elite", my dream of a Unified Field Conspiracy Theory may become reality.